jay leno is so bad.

it's been months since i posted anything here. i'll admit, it's been a combination of laziness, disinterest, and overall ennui.

but when i heard the reports that NBC was thinking of booting conan and/or giving leno the tonight show back, i had to spring into action. and thus, i finally joined the evil world of twitter.

please follow me and retweet and whatever else the kids do at http://twitter.com/lenoissobad

hump day

my friend, a violence and injury prevention specialist (whatever that means), shared this link.

according to a new study, suicides are most likely to occur on wednesdays. while those interviewed for the story cautiously offered work stress, at its height in the middle of the week, as a possible reason, here are my guesses:

there's nothing good on tv on wednesdays. consider the law and order franchise. monday is the classic law and order, a good way to start the week. tuesday is SVU, so it only gets better. but then on wednesday, you're stuck with criminal intent. shoot me.

no one goes out on wednesdays. thursdays everyone is raring for happy hour. friday everyone's like wooo, let's start the weekend! but wednesday? no one wants to do shit on wednesday. except maybe hang themselves.

wednesday is the worst day for sushi. a lot of restaurants get their shipments on thursday, in preparation for the weekend rush. this means that by wednesday, you're getting all the leftover week-old fish. if THAT doesn't kill you, you might just off yourself.

wednesday is commonly referred to as "hump day." but if you're not getting humped, you just feel like shit.

the way wednesday is spelled makes no fucking sense. and if you try to make sense of it, you'll just go batshit crazy, and potentially leap from a building.

more theories? post them in comments.

the recession claims more victims

in one of the saddest states of the economy i've seen yet, the los angeles times reports that more and more people are leaving the bodies of their dead in the custody of the state because they can't afford to collect the remains.

i can't imagine what it must be like not only to have to deal with the death of someone, but to then be burdened with the guilt of not being able to honor them with a ceremony, burial, or even an urn.

it's kind of a sick, sad reason that i wish six feet under was still on the air. the show dealt several times with bodies going unclaimed, but never for a monetary reason. there was a memorable episode when david tried to upsell a family on a casket. i don't think funeral homes are inherently evil [ not all anyway ], but in a bit of macabre irony, they, too, are just trying to ride out the economic tide.

someone more thoughtful than i... go make a show about this.

lessons from he-man

while we're on the topic, why not. he-man was my favorite cartoon growing up.

lessons from GI JOE

i went to a midnight showing of harry potter last night. first off, it was incredible. i was very, very pleased, to say the least.

but since everyone is going to be talking about THAT, i decided to talk about this: the upcoming GI JOE movie. now, i have no faith in michael bay, so i doubt this is going to be any kind of cinematic masterpiece. but it does make me nostalgic for the good ol' life lessons that could be summed up in a matter of seconds, and tied up with the neatest bow, "knowing is half the battle."

if you visit this website, you can see the complete catalog of joe lessons (unfortunately, no video, but if i find a video repository, i will post it too)

this is by far my favorite piece of advice:

Scarlett- You can learn to water ski if you keep trying.

haha. also, let's not forget about this joe. click on his picture to re-remember his unfortunate name.

samantha bee/jon stewart covering the palin resignation

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Craziest Catch
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Joke of the Day

the geniuses at the daily show did it again. the craziest thing is a coworker of mine actually said he was so sorry that jon stewart was in repeats the week palin did this. do you think she knew? i'm glad she didn't get away with it. enjoy.

my friends who won CLIOs

congratulations to my friend gabe gathmann for winning a CLIO for this sweet PSA.

and congratulations also to my friend madhu kalyanarman on his CLIO for this billboard for stop handgun violence: