if you fight for freedom wherever there's trouble...

... then you need this t-shirt.

unfortunate tattoos.

i saw this story about hayden panettiere's misspelled tattoo. and it made me think of the tragedy of bad body art.

this has become an especially touchy subject in my dating life. i seem to have a talent for picking guys who pick the dumbest tattoos ever. unfortunately i have no pictures, but it's probably better that way.

exhibit A - i slept with a guy who i've known for almost my whole life. except it wasn't until he was naked that i realized he had a tramp stamp. i kid you not. a male tramp stamp. does it matter what the tattoo was of? no. it was a male tramp stamp.

exhibit B - a guy i dated earlier this year who had two fish on his arm. now, fish can be cool, but they usually aren't. i learned this when another guy, pablo, showed us his. "it's a guppy," was my best friend's reaction. that about sums it up.

well, this guy's fish weren't guppies. they were opposite each other in a way that he explained "was supposed to symbolize the yin-yang." it went even a layer further because this guy also happened to be a pisces. first off, white people should never get anything chinese on them. i don't care if that sounds racist. they shouldn't. i have this fantasy in my head where all the chinese character tattoos actually say something drastically different than what we think they do. "peace" really means "tampon" and "serenity" really means "kick me." it's my wish for the world.

but secondly, i'm a little skeeved by the whole astrological sign thing. i mean, i think there's some credence to it. i certainly exhibit every characteristic a leo is supposed to. but, i happened to meet this guy on eharmony. and for those of you familiar with the system, i swear one of his "can't stands" was superstitious. what a douchebag.

exhibit C - same guy! i know, tragic. he explained this one to me too. his grandparents ran an apple farm. and so on his shoulder, he had a tattoo of an apple in a crate with their farm name on it. now, i'm not cold-hearted, i think that's sweet. but here's the rub:

the crate only had one apple in it. which means it was either a monster apple or midget crate.

has anyone else had bad luck with dating bad tattoos? if so, i'd love to hear them.

shiantology

holy. crap.

and i really mean that.

the website shiantology.com has created religious imagery around the one and only leboeuf. two things i hate put together somehow make something i love. now they're inviting you to submit your own. have fun.

united we serve

the latest in president obama's web savvy, united we serve offers an easy way for citizens to get involved in their local communities.

new rule

bill maher did a great segment ending his show last night. if you missed it on HBO, it's written up in the huffington post.

subtle butt

i bag on orange county a lot. mostly because it sucks.

but one good thing has come out of the OC: subtle butt.

this little patch supposedly neutralizes fart odor. the video pretty much says it all better than i ever could.

style your garage

i really love this idea, mostly because i love anything that could potentially upset an HOA.

slow cow

finally, a new drink that isn't supposed to make us EXTREME.

on the contrary, slow cow invites us to relax and take it easy.

on a personal note, may i just say i'm a little disturbed that i heard about this via my ad agency? they're usually so out of touch, that... now i just don't know what to think about myself.

miami airport

a proposal was made to introduce slots to the miami international airport, in an effort to increase revenue.

but a florida law (which was written in an effort to keep slots at racetracks), states that slot machines can only reside in places where the ponies race.

the answer? bring ponies to the airport as well.

hey, why the hell not.

dave barry had an amusing chat about this very topic with NPR's robert siegel.

15th ave coffee & tea (& wine & beer)

NPR reports on a new starbucks in non-starbucks clothing. is it smart branding, or insidious corporatism? you decide.

the vatican says something not stupid.

carla bruni need not get upset this time.

the vatican newspaper has called oscar wilde a "lucid analyst of the modern world."

indeed he was. he poked fun at marriage, gender roles, and societal norms. i wonder what the vatican liked best?

* A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

* Genius is born--not paid.

* I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

* The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.

*Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

* It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

* Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.

* I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

* The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.

* There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.

* There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.

* Disobedience, in the eyes of anyone who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience and rebellion that progress has been made.

orly taitz

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Born Identity
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Joke of the Day

i first heard about this woman via the daily show [ because jon stewart is, after all, the most trusted man in america ]. but then i read this article in oc weekly. [ obviously the crazies are concentrated in orange county ]. then the washington post's secular corner ran this.

when is the truth not good enough for us anymore?? i'm reminded of a bit lewis black did, and i'm scouring the internet trying to find it. basically, he talks about how you can't look at a piece of footage [ in this case, it was whether george bush was told about bin laden ] and say that it didn't happen. he then relates it to cat suicide. [ natch ].

but seriously, when did facts and evidence become not good enough? has photoshop made us overly cynical, even when we shouldn't be? do we just want to be upset, to be upset? someone please enlighten me.

best excerpts of the oc weekly piece:

The problem is most of the above facts aren’t true.

For starters, the Pakistan “travel ban” is a complete fabrication based on zero evidence and completely contradicted by State Department records and a 1981 New York Times article. The full transcript from Obama’s grandmother shows that she never said he was born in Kenya—in fact, she repeatedly said he was born in Hawaii. The law allowing foreign-born children to obtain Hawaiian COLBs didn’t exist until 20 years after Obama was born, while Obama’s published COLB says his birth information was recorded four days after his birth in 1961. And those “forensic experts” who say Obama’s document is phony? There have only been three of them: Two haven’t published their real names or any verifiable credentials (one went by the moniker “TechDude”), and the other merely said that she can’t make a determination of a document’s authenticity based solely on a JPEG.

***

“It’s just fascinating,” says Bob Haggard, a frequent poster on Politijab’s Orly Taitz forum. “She runs around the country doing things that amount to absolutely nothing. She tells her followers that she ‘files’ all sorts of documents, but she never files anything. She drops stuff off.”

Patrick McKinnion of Yes to Democracy puts it a different way: “There’s a certain amount of fascination with unbridled insanity, and that’s what you’re seeing with the birthers: a level of hatred that borders, if not absolutely pole-vaults, into insanity.”

two recent post articles about sarah palin

i'm kind of in love with this op-ed written by barbara boxer and john kerry, refuting a palin op-ed about energy. i hate that anyone has to take her seriously, but i like how the senators subtly mention her ties to oil companies, and state how scare tactics used in the past to stymie environmental legislation have no basis.

the other article i'm digging is the results of a post-abc news poll. while palin still has her GOP following, she's clearly losing ground, and for that i am thankful. more people don't think she's a strong leader, or clearly understands complex national policies. my favorite excerpt is as follows:

Rick Buila, 38, of Sharonville, Ohio, who works in finance and voted for the McCain-Palin ticket in November, said his opinion of the governor has changed. "I don't think that she is cut out to be on the national stage," he said. "I look at her education and her background and the way she carries herself and her [resignation] speech, and when you have someone who's out there saying 'You betcha' about 50 times, I don't think that's the person we want to have negotiating with other countries."

amen.

hump day

my friend, a violence and injury prevention specialist (whatever that means), shared this link.

according to a new study, suicides are most likely to occur on wednesdays. while those interviewed for the story cautiously offered work stress, at its height in the middle of the week, as a possible reason, here are my guesses:

there's nothing good on tv on wednesdays. consider the law and order franchise. monday is the classic law and order, a good way to start the week. tuesday is SVU, so it only gets better. but then on wednesday, you're stuck with criminal intent. shoot me.

no one goes out on wednesdays. thursdays everyone is raring for happy hour. friday everyone's like wooo, let's start the weekend! but wednesday? no one wants to do shit on wednesday. except maybe hang themselves.

wednesday is the worst day for sushi. a lot of restaurants get their shipments on thursday, in preparation for the weekend rush. this means that by wednesday, you're getting all the leftover week-old fish. if THAT doesn't kill you, you might just off yourself.

wednesday is commonly referred to as "hump day." but if you're not getting humped, you just feel like shit.

the way wednesday is spelled makes no fucking sense. and if you try to make sense of it, you'll just go batshit crazy, and potentially leap from a building.

more theories? post them in comments.

the recession claims more victims

in one of the saddest states of the economy i've seen yet, the los angeles times reports that more and more people are leaving the bodies of their dead in the custody of the state because they can't afford to collect the remains.

i can't imagine what it must be like not only to have to deal with the death of someone, but to then be burdened with the guilt of not being able to honor them with a ceremony, burial, or even an urn.

it's kind of a sick, sad reason that i wish six feet under was still on the air. the show dealt several times with bodies going unclaimed, but never for a monetary reason. there was a memorable episode when david tried to upsell a family on a casket. i don't think funeral homes are inherently evil [ not all anyway ], but in a bit of macabre irony, they, too, are just trying to ride out the economic tide.

someone more thoughtful than i... go make a show about this.

the complexities of sustainable food

i came across this article today, even though it was published in february. it talks about the complexities of our food system, and why labels like "organic" and "local" aren't enough to address the problems we face.

Real sustainability... is defined not by a food system's capacity to ensure happy workers or organic lima beans, but by whether the food system can sustain itself—that is, keep going, indefinitely, in a world of finite resources. A truly sustainable food system is inherently resilient—more capable of self-correction and self-revitalization than its industrial rival. Unfortunately, in the real world of farming, ideas like "resilience" must compete with realities like "costs" and "profits," and producers and consumers alike gravitate toward simpler standards—even if those standards don't represent truly sustainable practices. Worries Kirschenmann, "We've come to see sustainability as some kind of fixed prescription—if you just do these 10 things, you will be sustainable, and you won't need to worry about it anymore."

while the article never offered up a grand solution, it is interesting to think about what how inadequate some of our sustainable parameters are. it also does a good job tying in the economic side of the equation, including demand for unsustainable meat and dairy products, and the habits we've formed because of relatively cheap food. the idea that a consumer push strategy will never be enough certainly rings true - which means we need to do more to encourage our government to address this problem.
in any case, it's a good read, especially before i head out to the grocery store.

my one-woman campaign to save sbarro.

buzzfeed also lists 14 things that the recession will help us lose. but it made me think of the one thing i truly hope weathers the economic storm, and that is sbarro. last june, slumping mall sales attributed to the pizza chain's $5.7 million loss.

now, look: i'm not going to defend sbarro's shitty pizza, though i did live on the stuff all through college. but i do NOT want to live in a world where i can't have their garlic knots, baked ziti and spaghetti any time i get suckered into a mall! i don't know what they put in those spaghetti noodles, but it is my weakness. my kryptonite. my salvation.

please, everyone. join my campaign. i promise you a world without sbarro is a sad, tragic world indeed.

in the year 2000... in the year TWO THOUSAND!

buzzfeed feeds us a 1985 issue of ebony, where they predict what stars will look like in 2000.

in ebony's defense, it's not like anyone could have predicted what would actually happen. that might be more frightening than what actually happened.

[ much respect, michael, but cmon ]

palin's resignation speech: the good version.

vanity fair takes a stab at making sarah palin sound cohesive. nice try, guys. notice not a single thing was stetted.

cannabis iphone app

via drudge, a new iphone application allows you to find your nearest pot dealer. legal, of course.

utah kiss-ins

we're all god's children. until we're not.

A police report said they sat down for a kiss and were approached by a pair of church security guards, who asked them to leave because their behavior was "unwanted."

garage rape

this actually happened.

people in pizza slice costumes becoming pizzas

i post this only because, well, first and foremost, it's wacky. but also because back in 1999, when i was at my very first ad agency internship in dc, i, too, donned a pizza costume. specifically "slice," the unofficial papa john's mascot.

smart seafood

speaking of seafood sensation.... via the washington post's smart living section, an easy way to navigate the confusing world of seafood sustainability.

The most straightforward thing you can do is avoid eating any species that has been consistently overfished. According to a recent report from the United Nations' Food and Agriculture Organization, 28 percent of global fish stocks were overexploited, depleted or recovering from depletion in 2007. Another 52 percent were fully exploited, meaning that catch levels had either been reached or were close to their maximum sustainable limits. (For more on the world's overfishing problems, watch the new documentary "The End of the Line," billed as "An Inconvenient Truth" for the seafood industry.)

To find out how your favorite fish is doing, check out the Monterey Bay Aquarium's popular Seafood Watch program, which rates both wild-caught and farm-raised seafood as "best choice," "good alternative" or "avoid." For wild-caught fish, the program looks at stock levels but also takes fishing techniques into account, because some types of gear result in greater damage to the marine environment or higher levels of collateral damage to nontarget species. For farmed fish, which are often raised in net-pens in the open ocean, Seafood Watch looks at the potential for pollution and disease transference to the ecosystem. (Wild-caught Alaskan salmon, canned albacore tuna and farmed rainbow trout all get high marks under this program.) In the supermarket, look for the Marine Stewardship Council's eco-label, a blue oval with a fish and a checkmark. That certifies that products come from sustainable fisheries.

i visited the monterey bay site, and discovered they also offer a handy iphone app, so you can make better choices when you're in a store or restaurant. while the post article points out there's not much info about carbon footprints, that info isn't very widely available. and even if we can make our choices a little more smart, that's better than an altogether dumb one.

subway seafood sensation

i recently visited subway (and remarked on the chips), and had my interest piqued by the "seafood sensation." i should note that it caught my eye because, despite having grown up near the chesapeake bay area and developing quite a snobbishness for maryland blue crab, i do like imitation crab. it's not because it tastes anything like actual crabmeat (it's usually made of pollock), i just like the way it tastes. you know, kind of like tofurkey isn't really turkey-like, but still not bad to eat.

so anyway, i went back and ordered the sub. and i thought it was funny, because the guy in front of me was ordering it too. "it's just been there on the menu, staring at me," he said. "i finally decided i had to try it." we were very much on the same wavelength, but he went so far as to tell the sandwich artist to "put whatever toppings you think would be good on it, man." not me. i opted for lettuce, tomato, green peppers, onions, black olives, mustard, and black pepper.

now, i've always said that all subway sandwiches taste the same. they're usually so skimpy on the deli meat that whatever sandwich you get inevitably tastes only like bread + the toppings you put on it. but i made a special point to try out the actual "sensation."

it wasn't half bad. it's a little heartier than most imitation crabmeat (and it's circular, not in sticks), and not all gooped up in mayo. (it's still not good for you though, despite its relative low calorie count, it's packed with fat and sodium).

i went on the subway website, and it's not mentioned prominently, which means it's probably just a test product now. but it's in southern california for the moment, and one of the perma-$5 footlongs. it might make you happy. worked on me.

maddow v. buchanan

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

via huffington post, rachel maddow argues with pat buchanan about racism and affirmative action. though rachel tells him that he's dating himself, she pretty much sits back and lets him look the silly old uncle we're ashamed to invite to our bbq's. enjoy.

larb tofu

swanya thai cuisine recently opened up around the corner from me. i've only gotten delivery, but looks really cute from the outside.

anyway, the reason i bring it up is that swanya has opened my eyes to a wonderful thai dish, larb tofu.

i'm not a huge order-off-the-veggie menu kind of person, but in order to get delivery, i needed to push my order over $15. i'm not sure what compelled me to order this, but now it's a favorite.

larb tofu is seasoned with a very fresh chili-lime dressing, and the tofu soaks it all up perfectly. it's also served with carrots, basil, cabbage, red onion, and chili. but hard-core vegetarians, don't let the asians fool you - the good flavor comes from fish sauce, so it's not entirely veggie. no wonder i like it.

the next time you're doing thai, try this. if you find another good place for it (or if you prepare it at home and have a recipe to share), please post in the comments section.

horrible, cute irony.

in china, a mother red panda rejected its two cubs. a dog was brought in as a surrogate, and immediately took to the cubs. problem was, she then rejected her own pup. oh boy. maybe the red panda mother will come around and nurse the dog.

jesus dress-up

paper dolls and jesus: two things that are sort of intrinsically funny. put them together, and... well... this happens.

NYT banners

i remarked on my facebook* today how dismayed i was by a scientology.org banner on the new york times's website. but that damned gawker beat me to it.

it also brings up this shingles ad which is prominently displayed today, and that is just completely nasty. whatever happened to escapism during hard times? sheesh.

i will say in my defense, however: i am on west coast time. check mate.

* also, note: i'm not sure what compelled me to link to my facebook. maybe because i have a vanity URL now. but i don't want to be your friend. i mean, really. yes, even you.

malcolm gladwell and the moral hazard myth

as debate over national health care rolls on in congress, i am reminded of one of the most poignant and memorable articles i have ever read. it was published in a 2005 issue of the new yorker but is still [ if not more ] relevant today.

i thought about bullet-pointing the striking parts of the article for those who don't wish to read it, but i truly feel it would be doing gladwell [ and the uninsured ] a huge disservice. if you don't believe in "socialized medicine" and don't think we need reform, you need to take a look. and even if you do, some of the facets you learn in this article are too critical to pass up.

** if you're curious as to what prompted this entry, it was the drudge report's cover story labeled "TAX THEM!" with this picture:

my parents joined facebook.

no. no. thankfully not MY parents. but some people's parents. you know who they are. but just in case you don't, look here and be afraid.

sabritas habanero limon chips

i work in a predominantly hispanic neighborhood, which is so refreshing given the whitey-whiteness of most of orange county. today i ate lunch at probably the whitey-est of all establishments, subway. but even they have managed to work in some flavor. nicely done, local subway. nicely done. these chips are reeeeeeallly good. i'm sure frito-lay has tried an american version, but it probably failed some lame focus group. plus, no crazy smiley face on the package, so what good would it be? if you can find these, try them.

lessons from he-man

while we're on the topic, why not. he-man was my favorite cartoon growing up.

lessons from GI JOE

i went to a midnight showing of harry potter last night. first off, it was incredible. i was very, very pleased, to say the least.

but since everyone is going to be talking about THAT, i decided to talk about this: the upcoming GI JOE movie. now, i have no faith in michael bay, so i doubt this is going to be any kind of cinematic masterpiece. but it does make me nostalgic for the good ol' life lessons that could be summed up in a matter of seconds, and tied up with the neatest bow, "knowing is half the battle."

if you visit this website, you can see the complete catalog of joe lessons (unfortunately, no video, but if i find a video repository, i will post it too)

this is by far my favorite piece of advice:

Scarlett- You can learn to water ski if you keep trying.

haha. also, let's not forget about this joe. click on his picture to re-remember his unfortunate name.

boccalone

tasty salted pig parts. need i say more? last week my good friend scott cooked up a feast with his boccalone order. he found the recipes on their website and i'm kicking myself for not taking pictures. he served pork belly with canteloupe melon as an appetizer, made pizzeta with soft salami, pasta with giancale (cheek), and brussel sprouts with pancetta. it was amazing.

treasure island festival

if my good friend weren't getting married in virginia that weekend, the treasure island festival is surely where i'd be. [ i've already reamed her for it; direct quote: "you better fucking love me." ] the line-up is absurd, and tickets go on sale this friday. hurry. go, because i can't.

LATFH blog

this is one of the funniest things i've seen in a very long time. this, and STFU, PARENTS, make me wonder if i should make the switch to tumblr. thoughts?

samantha bee/jon stewart covering the palin resignation

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Craziest Catch
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Joke of the Day

the geniuses at the daily show did it again. the craziest thing is a coworker of mine actually said he was so sorry that jon stewart was in repeats the week palin did this. do you think she knew? i'm glad she didn't get away with it. enjoy.